The $1,400 Swiss Army Knife
As any fool will gladly tell you (playing the part of fool today–me) the Swiss Army Knife kicks butt… or slices butt… actually, maybe it uncorks then unscrews butt. I can’t really be sure. Let’s just say the Swiss Army Knife does a lot of stuff.
I just entered Swiss Army Knife into ebay’s search function and came up with 2,390 returns. There are 13 in 1′s, 16 in 1′s, even a 32 in 1–and I’m still on the first page of results. However, if you want a Swiss Army Knife with 87 tools and 112 functions, the holder of the Guinness World Record for “The Most Multifunctional Penknife,” you’re going to need to head to Hammacher Schlemmer with $1,400 and the enlarged pocket this enlarged pocketknife demands!
“It has seven blades, three types of pliers, three golf tools (club face cleaner, shoe spike wrench, and divot repair tool), 25 flat- and Phillips-head screwdrivers and bits, saws, wrenches, and more. It also has a bicycle chain rivet setter, signal whistle, 12/20-gauge shotgun choke tube tool, combination fish scaler, hook disgorger, and line guide tool, cigar-cutting scissors, laser pointer, tire-tread gauge, toothpick, tweezers, and key ring.
Oh Hammacher Schlemmer–you had me at hook disgorger.
As the knife gonifs on late night TV would say, “This is a collectors item.” I’m not sure how practical it is, but it’s reasonably certain you will be able to protect Switzerland should Lichtenstein attack. At 2 3/4 pounds you don’t even have to use a blade–just throw it at them.
By the way, if you decide to buy one of these or give it as a gift would you drop us an email here at Gearlog? We want to keep very far away from you. via
